Well yesterday morning was another ultrasound and E2 check, and I can happily say everything looked right on schedule and we were given the go ahead to trigger last night at 10:30! I had 4+ follicles at 18-19mm, the rest were all a bit smaller so since the 4 largest are 18-19 we are a go! The Doc wanted to wait on instructions until my estrogen levels came back. If my E2 was too high then we would have a “coast” day which means I would have taken a day off all meds and triggered tonight. If my E2 was too low then they probably would’ve had me do another round of stims with my HCG trigger shot last night. The nurse called about 4pm and said “you are ready for trigger tonight”, it was like music to my ears. YAY!
I was a bit anxious about the trigger shot knowing it’s a bigger, longer needle that goes in my back side rather than a little one going in my tummy. I set a reminder on my phone for 10:15 so I could get everything prepped in time to do the shot at exactly the right time. It’s a little nerve racking knowing you only have one dose of the HCG and if you mess up, well you’re kinda screwed. They really should give you a back up. So, I very carefully made sure to follow the instructions. I figured it would make me more comfortable to lay down when hubby gave me the injection, so I laid down on the bed, and as much as I didn’t want this shot I just kept thinking “just do it, get it over with before I can run away!” He did a good job of jabbing it in. The worst part was checking for blood return. Once the needle is in all the way the syringe or plunger part has to be pulled back to make sure no blood is returned into the syringe. If it is then you have to pull the needle out and do it again in a new spot. You don’t want to inject the medicine into a capillary. So he had some trouble getting the plunger to pull up and I could feel it, once he said there was no blood I think I was saying “ok, ok, now go go go go” and he slowly injected the medicine. Yowza. I know I make it sound all dramatic, but it really wasn’t so bad. I’m actually in more pain today than the actual shot itself. I’m so sore, feels like my hip was trampled by a stampede of horses. Once the trigger shot was done it was about 10:42. Since we know how important this shot is to be done at exactly the time they tell you to, I made sure to call this morning and let the nurse know we were about 10 minutes late and she said that was just fine. Pheww. I felt a little silly asking if 10 minutes late would be ok, but this far in I don’t want to mess anything up.
The past few days have been the most difficult so far. My endometriosis is really acting up due to the high levels of estrogen and it’s very uncomfortable. Not only am I bloated from all my growing follicles, my ovaries are sore with each move I make. My endo gets worse when I’m laying down for long periods of time so sleeping the past couple of nights has been pretty tough. The trigger shot is making me feel a little nauseous today, and my tata’s are SO sore. The trigger is HCG, the pregnancy hormone. So my body is pretty much responding as if it’s pregnant, but it’s not. I even took a pregnancy test today to make sure the HCG absorbed properly, and it definitely did. The darkest line I’ve ever seen on a test…if only it was real! Hopefully soon I’ll get the same results because I have a little one.. or two growing inside 🙂
My ER (egg retrieval) is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:30. So excited! I’m so ready because after this the next step is transfer. I’m praying for a smooth retrieval, plenty of mature eggs, and it will be exciting to learn over the next couple of days how many eggs fertilize, how many we will have for transfer (the plan is 2), and how many we may have to freeze.
I’m trying my best to take it easy physically, emotionally, and mentally this week. I’m trying to keep stress to a minimum and just relax. The physical and mental part has been pretty easy because I have just been so drained. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve given up caffeine for the past couple weeks, and boy do I miss it. A lot. I feel like I’m in a fog, and half the time I’m too exhausted to put in effort to do anything or even have a conversation with my poor husband. I’ve been moody, and probably not much fun to be around. I’m pretty blessed that he’s so patient and understanding. I might be going through all the physical changes that come along with iVF, but I know that doesn’t mean he isn’t mentally going through it with me and I know I could do a better job of remembering that.
Let’s just say this is what he text me the other day, and it’s a good thing I have a sense of humor because I got a good kick out of it. It’s the truth and it’s probably how he’s felt every day since all the meds started. Bless his heart. He always keeps me laughing.
This morning I took a hot shower to try and get some relief on my lower back from my endo pain. I started getting ahead of myself and thinking about how disappointed and heat broken I will be if this IVF cycle doesn’t work. It’s a lot to go through, and I know there is no guarantee. Then I realized, I’m really glad God doesn’t give us the ability to know the future. I have no idea what’s going to happen and at times that gives me anxiety about what the next day will bring, but can you imagine if we could see all the bad things coming our way? If we knew at the beginning of this journey that we would suffer years of infertility, miscarriage after miscarriage, I can’t imagine the anxiety I would’ve had then. If I could have seen my Dad’s cancer diagnosis before it happened I would have lived in fear of each day knowing what was to come. If we knew this fight of trying to have a baby was going to be as long and difficult as it’s been, would we have really said ok lets do it anyway? I would’ve been scared out of my mind. I’m thankful we don’t know what’s to come. So we can either live in fear of the unknown and the “what if’s”, or we can be grateful for the here and now.
On a lighter note… I decided to get my butt up and get moving today. I figured since it’s nice outside I would take doggie for a walk.
We were enjoying ourselves until we came face to face with a cat. I’m not afraid of cats, I’m afraid of what will happen to a cat when Chloe is around. The poor cat better fun for it’s life, no matter how many it has left.
You have to look closely, but you can see the black cat in the driveway (I’ve got to figure out how to blow up these pictures, sorry). Right after I snapped this picture Chloe went for it. Usually when she’s on a leash she knows better. So, I had about .25 seconds to decide if I was going to be pulled down with her or let go of the leash and pray the kitty got away. I’m happy to say the cat is fine and no animals were hurt in the moments following this photo. I on the other hand wasn’t so happy. I was yelling for her and the man across the street stopped his yard work. I just gave him a wave and a head nod, like oh hi don’t mind me. I think he must have asked if everything was ok, but I had headphones in and couldn’t make out what he said. Once he saw me go after chloe and pick up the leash I think he realized what happened and that all was fine. Needless to say the walk was over after that.
I’ll update tomorrow on how retrieval goes!
Happy Wednesday everyone.